October 3, 2000
braindead lifedead
for the past four or five months i've experienced a general lack of creative activity in my brain. it's incredibly frustrating.
i write notes to myself in a little book. a little over a year ago, i must have known
what was coming when i wrote a reminder for the future (paraphrasing):
'perception, observance: make a conscious attempt to push
aside biological/environmental attitudes/perceptions/opinions that are engrained
on the mind. on many levels, from simple to complex. ask yourself questions
that you might not normally consider. look at the world in unconventional ways.'
there was a time when this was easy, unconscious, seemed perfectly natural. but over the past few months, i've found myself becoming increasingly closed, conventional, uncreative, and frustrated.
perhaps i've grown, and become accustomed to what seemed so interesting at the time. or maybe the opposite - stopped changing, hit a plateau.
i tend to reach the conclusion that it's time for a change in direction or surroundings. unfortunately, i'm not quite ready for a major change. so for the moment, i must rely on small changes for the sake of sanity. hopefully, i'll get out of this rut. otherwise, i feel i'll be slipping into a life lacking creativity, resolve, fulfillment, wonder, and interest.
03 Oct 12:00 | Link | Category: From the Old Site